Is my yearning for life artistic?

Is this beating in my chest the result of average or am I different than the normal?

Some days I want so hard to be a musician, so hard to be an artist that is not the same as everyone else. This yearning seems to take my focus slightly away from the truth and in the end it hurts me. When I focus on why I’m working so hard and who I’m persevering for, the light clicks on and everything that was so foggy comes into focus in slow motion.